Haunted: Living With Unresolved Childhood Trauma

Stocksy_txp60226418U1i100_Small_789083.jpg

Like a ghost, your traumatic past can come back to haunt you long after that part of your life is over. Disturbing memories may intrude, and stir up feelings about events that you thought you'd left behind. Because of the way traumatic memories are stored, reminders of disturbing events can stir up trouble in your body, your mind and your relationships, and make the past feel ever present.

Ghosts from the past

Common life experiences can bring up reminders of the past. Traumas large and small, issues that you may have already worked through, or that hadn't been bothering you for years can be reignited by a big change in your life or a seemingly minor event.

A situation at work may leave you feeling on edge, wary of others. A health crisis leaves you feeling dependent, or helpless. Changes in relationships can unsettle your sense of security. Life altering events like having a baby, a sudden loss or death, or a taking on a new roles, such as caregiving for a parent- all of these kinds of situations can open up old feelings and memories and bring the past rushing back. And often, like a troublesome ghost, it can be difficult to figure out just exactly where your emotional and physical reactions are coming from, what's causing you to feel this way.

Strong connections exist between childhood trauma and challenges in adulthood.

Unresolved trauma is one of the most common reasons people seek therapy, and early experiences are a common focus in trying to answer questions about why you're struggling right now.

Childhood is a time when we need to experience a sense of security and being loved, to help develop a sense trust in self and others. But when childhood is complicated by abuse (physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse), neglect, and other types of traumas (large and small), the ability to trust ourselves and connect to others can be compromised. Common problems linked to childhood trauma include:

  • difficulty handling emotions

  • increased risk for anxiety, depression, PTSD

  • feelings of shame and guilt

  • low self esteem

  • feeling alienated and difficulty relating to others

  • self destructive behaviors, including problems with alcohol/drugs

But this happened so long ago. It shouldn't be bothering me now.”

Adults who find themselves once again dealing with the past often make comments like “I'm a grownup. This shouldn't still be bothering me”. However, study after study has shown that adverse events in our younger years can be linked to problems in adulthood. One recent longitudinal study published earlier this year found that women who experience adverse events during their formative years (abuse, neglect or family dysfunction) are more likely to experience depression during midlife when compared to women who did not experience these kinds of stressors. (Read the study here: https://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2017-03/uops-tas032717.php). Another important longitudinal study, The Adverse Childhood Experiences Study (ACE Study) showed important connections between childhood abuse and neglect and a person's health and well-being later in life.

Overcoming Childhood Trauma

While childhood trauma can make your life more challenging at times, it doesn't have to define you and how you live your life. Therapy can help you establish a sense of safety, and develop the tools and understanding of yourself you need in order to free yourself from the grip that trauma can have on you. So that you can enjoy your life and the people in it. Develop more confidence and trust in yourself. Find peace of mind.

If you're concerned about how the past is impacting you now, help is available.  To learn more about how therapy can help, please give me a call at (626) 808-5463 or email me at hollyaevansmft@gmail.com.  I look forward to talking to you- Holly